Bulls and Balls

I am so over the Rugby World Cup. I know it is not the RWC organisers’ fault, but all this periphery stuff: The Dolly Partons, the jersey, the abstention et al is so tiresome. And I now hear the possibility that The Warriors may lose the home ground semi, if they earn one, because of the RWC. I am also heartily sick of the hype surrounding it and am yet to be persuaded that it will have any long-term benefit for New Zealand. That said, I acknowledge that it may have short-term benefits. My friend Whetu, of whom you read occasionally in Fryday, is making a killing selling All Black replica jerseys for $30.00. They present very good value because you get two jerseys in one. After three washings and the black dye wears off you are suddenly presented with a Lion Red Warriors’ jersey circa 1995. Whetu is also selling abstention kits cunningly disguised as 12-pack of Lion Red. His rationale? After drinking that much you can’t get it up anyway. Whetu describes it as the Maori contribution to science. And nor is Whetu the only one making a contribution to and a killing from, the RWC. New Zealand’s squeezable pimple, Hamilton, is heralding a rallying cry for its citizens to make an international statement that their village is right behind the RWC and Telecom. Hamiltonians are being exhorted to abstain from sex in support of Telecom’s erstwhile campaign (they haven’t caught up with the news yet). I am not sure whether cows will be disappointed or relieved. On the other hand I hear Palmerston North is taking the opposite approach. They have decided to have frequent sex. Well, as they say, there is a first for everything. As for me? This Fryday will be my only contribution and comment to and about the RWC. I support the All Blacks, but I detest the self-perpetuating dominance of the code and in keeping with most Aucklanders I think there are more important things in life than rugby. I am just struggling presently under the weight and mire of the media to find one.