Wogistan: A Space Odyssey

The Democratic Republic of Wogistan (Inc.)

Office of the Foreign Secretary

123 Bruce Springsteen Boulevard (third door on right). Telephone: 125.

Email: Info@officeoftheforeignsecretary.govt.wg

Mr Honi Harawira

Parliament Building

Auckland

Aoutearowa

Keaora  Mr Honi

We have investment opportunity for Mr Honi Harawira in Democratic Republic of Wogistan (Inc). Investment opportunity only available to much moneyed peoples with time on hands. You like.

You invest in Wogistan space programme to send rocket, President Yoseph Flagrantlie, to moon. Suit peoples who like travels. We know you Honi Harawira likes travels. We offer you seat on flight. You claim one fifth of moon as sovereign territory of Peoples Democratic Republic of Aoutearowa. Rest goes to Wogistan.

But weight theres more Mr Honi Harawira. Take offer today and we gives you second seat on flight free. You takes your partner Kim Dotcom with you?  We wave excess weight charge. Rush moneys to us today and you and Kim Dotcoms on trips of your life times.

Ring now!

With sincere facilitations,

Yoseph xxx

Yoseph Wankerstan

Foreign Secretary The Democratic Republic of Wogistan (Inc.)

Proprietor Spartacus Male Gym and Bathhouse.

Terms and conditions of offer: No return on investment (or rocket).  Mona not included. She find work in my bathhouse. Offer approved and endorsed by Mr John Key esteemed prime minister of New Zealand and peoples of New Zealand.

When the Saints go Marching

With a category 1 listing, the interior of the venerable St James Theatre in Queen Street is immortal. And so it should be. This theatre with its circle and upper circle (The Gods) was so long the city’s premier live performance venue. Its only close competition before 1988, when it was hastily, illegally and unceremoniously demolished, was His Majesty’s Theatre. I could also count the Civic, but I have always and until recently thought of it more of a cinema than a live venue. I don’t know what St James looks like on the inside now. I believe the last time I was in there was for a performance of Cats in 1995. That possibly was the beginning of decline, because I certainly did not go to any of the dance and hip-hop parties that followed at the theatre and which  illustrated so imperfectly the St James’ diminished status and decline.  But, thankfully, to date not its demolition. Yet, it is early days for such optimism. The Herald is reporting only that the theatre “may” have been sold to an unspecified developer in exchange for rights to build a 32-storey apartment and retail enclave next door. However, crucially the report states that the council has also thrown in a complete restoration clause for the theatre. Therefore, we may get it back—and with it a performance venue of grace and comfort (and sound quality) that Vector Stadium cannot hope to meet, and (hopefully) provide for us all a Myley Cyrus free zone.