On Christmas Eve I travelled to Auckland from the Bay of Islands. It takes just under four hours, but I had one very good reason for making the trip. On the day after Boxing Day I returned to the Bay of Islands. It took just under six hours, but I had three very good reasons for making that trip.
Traffic was the reason it took so long to get back. I accept that; it is the holidays and the Bay of Islands is a popular holiday destination and if the circumstances had been different I would have avoided travelling at that time.
However, what I don't expect and what perplexed me most—even during the holidays—was a throwback to a time when as a child I went on holidays with my family and had to endure the almost continual cursing of my father. The reason?
Caravans.
Yes, there were caravans on the road back. Three of them, seemingly in convoy, one after the other, from Whangarei to Kaiwaka. I am not talking campervans, nor even the fold-down-types that are streamlined to the point of being trailers. No, I am talking the old type: the classic bulbous egg-shape that these days are beloved only by the eggs who own them.
At no point on this long (61 kilometres) and often twisting drive did those eggs exceed 80 kilometres an hour. Nor at any point when safety permitted did they pull over to the left. Nor on the few passing straights did they reduce their speed to allow more cars to pass them—there are six vehicles to be passed, remember.
In other words, they were plain pains in the arse, and certainly deserving of the derision that was repeatedly directed at them. They were doing nothing illegal, of course—though the antiquated caravans they were towing were an affront to the senses—but the lack of courtesy by them and the possible danger posed by impatient drivers held up by them pushed an already near unbearable trip over the edge.
My advice to such caravan owners wishing to take them on holiday is…don't. If that is impractical, at least not go in convoy like the jolly campers you think you are. You are probably all ageing swingers anyway and in the final event are going to wind up in the same caravan, so you don't need three. If you do indeed need three (or even one) keep to the maximum allowable speed or, failing that, pull over when you can safely to allow others to pass. Above all, exhibit some courtesy and common sense.
On a somewhat higher plain, may I suggest you upgrade to a motel or a tent? Either would be easier on the traffic and the stress of an already stressful season. If even that is insufficient reason for you to consider others, consider: do you really want to look like you never lost the yearning to be in a Carry On movie?
