Useless Objects: The Toilet Lid

From time to time Fryday indulges itself in questioning the veracity and purpose of apparently useless objects. Previous subjects we have scrutinised include eyebrows and male nipples. This week we look at toilet seats.
We begin by getting our terminology right. I talk of toilet seats for ease of reference; I am in fact talking of the toilet lid, which, whilst it forms part of the seat, has far more dire consequences if mistakenly left closed while in use. I can find a use for the seat, mainly comfort while seated, but what is the purpose and function of the lid?
However, before we get to the bottom of that, a slight digression as we look at an eminently practical toilet seat design and the meritorious body that governs it: the open-front toilet seat. The International Association of Plumbing and Mechanical Officials' Uniform Plumbing Code, section 409.2.2, requires that "all water closet seats, except those within dwelling units or for private use, shall be of the open front type". The code has no legal force, but because it is followed by many public authorities, many public toilets feature open front toilet seats (also called "split seats”). The purpose for this seat design is to allow women to wipe the perineal area after using the toilet without contacting the seat. It also omits an area of the seat that could be contaminated with urine, and avoids contact between the seat and the user's genitals.
Who knew? And who knew that there was The International Association of Plumbing and Mechanical Officials? I wonder how often they sit?
But back to lids. Apparently toilet lids provide a very important and sterile service—one that most of us have probably not thought about. Here I am indebted to Fryday’s scientific advisory panel http://www.littleherbal-international.co.nz/ (highly recommended). This makes for troublesome reading, I admit, and you need go no further if you wish, but it has come as a surprise to many I have mentioned this to, that: “After flushing a toilet with the seat up, significant quantities of microbes float around the bathroom for at least two hours after each flush, much like a bacterial and viral aerosol. These microbes then settle onto surfaces, including toothbrushes. So if you don't want to be brushing your teeth with the contents of your toilet, best to keep that seat down when you flush.”
So, toilet lids are there for a purpose. And really, if we are wise, they should be used for that purpose. And whilst it may be galling for we wee men to say it, women have been right all along. We wee men need to put the toilet seat, and its lid, down
And to finish. In researching this item I put in possibly my most improbable Google question ever: “How to use a toilet seat?”
Guess what?
Google gave me 7,690,000 responses!
Who knew?