Kaiapoi

In my innocent years—all eleven of them before lust visited—I had a healthy respect for authority. Authority meant my parents, my teachers, Community Constable Jack Highstead and everybody over the age of 12. Of course I was brought up in Kaiapoi where innocence and respect were the norms and a rebellious streak in me meant I soon lost mine. But Kaiapoi never did. It retained its innocence and its naïveté through decades and generations. People who were conceived there stayed there, made love there, married there, had children there, and not necessarily in that order. Generations of families attended old schools there—and even, nowadays, the brash “new” secondary school. Employment was mostly mundane—Kaiapoi is not exactly replete with hit men and theatrical types—and a man could rise to prominence as a pharmacist. That was Kaiapoi’s charm and its innocence, but almost fifty years after I lost mine, it lost its. The earthquake of September 4 destroyed literally and figuratively much of what Kaiapoi stood for. Ironically it wasn’t the epicentre of the quake but it was the centre of devastation and the people of Kaiapoi have a right to be aggrieved at the unfairness of it all. I am told that many of them are still in shock and the television pictures don’t do justice to the injustice. But if Kaiapoi has lost its innocence and temporarily its charm, it has not lost its resilience. The people of Kaiapoi are bouncing back already, determined to rebuild their town and their lives. And if Kaiapoi is now to be forever remembered for its quake rather than its woollen mills, I hope it will also be remembered as the little town that rocked, then came back.

----------------
Now playing: Bruce Springsteen - Outlaw Pete
via FoxyTunes

Please Miss

One of the effects and benefits of growing older and becoming a curmudgeon is one holds teachers in less awe, respect and reverence. Not that I have anything against teachers per se, it’s just that those sentiments, stemming back to childhood when teachers were the primary authority figure, are as hard to shake as Bill English and just as irrelevant. For example and until recently I would in the unlikely event of recognising my Primer Two teacher in the street likely still address her as Mrs Grimshaw and no doubt fawn upon her by reason of her being my erstwhile teacher rather than her being something in the order of 127 years old. That’s teachers for you. They command respect. Until you reach my age. Until you read, as I did this morning, that they are bemoaning the fact that they earn on average and after 15 years experience $52871.00 per annum. And what is the reason for this bemoanment? The sum? No. It is that Australian teachers earn more ($63447.00). So? Listen teachers, there is hardly a profession in which Australians don’t earn more. Live with it. The rest of us do. Stop whinging. And while we are at it, where do you get off publishing self-authored reports stating New Zealand teachers work harder for less pay, without presenting any evidence to support that dubious contention? I am sure that kids are just as obnoxious in Australia as they are here, so I am not sure why you work any harder. And while we are at it (2) what’s with the name of your union? NZEI Te Riu Roa? Oh so very politically correct. Why not something more simple and apt such as Consolidated Union New Zealand Teachers? Now, that I like!

----------------
Now playing: Meat Loaf & Bonnie Tyler - Bat Out of Hell
via FoxyTunes

Plumbing the depths

As spring has so patently sprung it is hard to write about serious subjects. So I won’t; I’ll write about Hamilton. One cannot read Hamilton’s Facebook page without falling into the full scathing scarring morass of deprivation. We in Auckland just can’t hack it with Hamiltonians when it comes to excitement. Look at what our southern neighbours are occupying themselves with this week:

• Wie Waikato Free Children Chinese (Pin Yin) Course http://www.facebook.com/ChineseClass Waikato Chinese School (WCS) will provide a perfect opportunity for children to study free Chinese
• Lainie Poon Hamilton Club Pro Shop - we are a NZRA TOP SHOP FINALIST for the Waikato!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!
• Rebecca Boulton Hoffman We are a finalist too - Bakers Delight Hamilton East Yay, yay. Woo Hoo!!!
• Sustainability divide emerges in wake of recession: University of Waikato
www.waikato.ac.nz
The economic downturn has created a growing sustainability divide, separating New Zealand businesses which “get” sustainability from those which see it as “nice to do”. That’s the key finding from a new survey by researchers at the University of Waikato Management School.
• Cameron Kay Hi Everyone Try this exercise to increase the amount of compassion in your life and the world. The expected result is a personal sence of peace. http://www.avatarjournal.com/en/home/exercises/37-ex-17-compassion.html If you enjoyed that, try these other exercises...
http://www.theavatarcourse.com/en/experience-avatar.htm...l
• Roberta Campbell Just wondering or curiosity's kills but id any1 know's Levi joey olsen just wondering if any1 could check up and see how he is or wot he's up to des day's.. hope he is welll kia ora
• Mediarts Wintec Puppetry exhibition 'Strings Attached' opens on Tues 7th 5.30pm at Ramp Gallery, Collingwood St - all welcome.
• Plumber sets sights on teaching: University of Waikato
www.waikato.ac.nz It may seem like a radical change of professions to some, but James Thomlinson says training to become a primary school teacher after five years as a plumber feels like a natural progression.
• Hamilton NZ feels like wrapping up with a nice fresh scone. Suggestions as to where to find the best scones in Hamilton...?

It was not Fryday’s intent when composing this to make you miserable. Of course not. But now that you are, because you don’t live in Hamilton, I can hope only you can make the best of your Auckland or elsewhere weekend…anyway.

----------------
Now playing: Kris Kristofferson - From The Bottle To The Bottom
via FoxyTunes

Roy--You Rock Girl!

So Rodney and Roy have buried the hatchet in something other than each other’s backs and moved on. Their mutual adulation was somewhat nauseating and in Roy’s case more than a little mocking. But any smug satisfaction she now has, she deserves—she out-mastered the old dancing master himself and her sudden appearance in Parliament ahead of time and without notice was beautiful to behold, as was the look on Rodney’s face. Hide had nowhere to hide. Last week Fryday opined that the very public falling-out would hurt Rodney Hide more that it would Heather Roy. Some readers took issue with that, citing that Heather was out of a job and Hide wasn’t. I stick by my contention—I thought then and I think now that the incident would not only lose Hide his job in the next election it would consequently lose the Act Party its place in Parliament. The big loser would be Rodney Hide. I can’t see the events of this week changing that frankly. As they say, once a loser…

----------------
Now playing: Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood - Some Velvet Morning
via FoxyTunes

You can run but you can't...Hide

A couple of years back I was waiting at an Eden Park bar (which you do) standing next to someone I vaguely recognised but could not place. I obviously stared at him a little too long because he stuck out a rather large hand and informed me that it was good to meet me again. Okay, he is the consummate politician but the incident shows just how disingenuous Rodney Hide is; he and I had never met before. I was reminded this week of that small incident when I read of his falling out with Heather Roy. Among Roy’s complaints is that Hide is something of a bully. He denies it. But I believe it—he has bullied just about everybody in Auckland over the governance issue. And no amount of dancing, glad-handing, forced joviality and sun-eclipsing attire will persuade me differently. They are simply Jekyll masking the real Mr Hide. No doubt he will run again in the next election, but I believe this destroying of Roy—along with the Super City issue—will damage him more than it will her.

----------------
Now playing: Led Zeppelin - Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp
via FoxyTunes

The Rat Pack

Opposite where I live is a cemetery. Its residents are for the most part quiet. They keep to themselves and don’t trouble me. Or my dogs. Nor do I trouble them. I do not venture over there at night to wake them. I do not invoke or insult them. And there is no intent on my part to instigate Satanist ceremonies and orgies. Indeed I doubt that Helensville harbours orgies of any sort anywhere. In fact, Helensville’s principal appeal may be that its cemetery is the liveliest place in town. It’s a quiet town. Quiet as the grave. Yet we learn today that we have reason to flee—a flea. It appears that the local rats of the rodent kind are carrying typhus carrying fleas. This does not come as welcome news, nor is there consolation in the hospital board’s less than comforting claim that “less than 2% of those who contract typhoid die from it.” We have all been instructed to be on the alert for rats and do all we can to eradicate them from the town. I will participate in that campaign with enthusiasm and vigour. I don’t like rats anyway. Nor fleas. But I do like life. I honour it and my life with my wife. And dogs. I have no intent to be among the 2% and join the folks across the road—nice as they are.

----------------
Now playing: Neil Young - This Old Guitar
via FoxyTunes

Suffer Little Children...

Without humour there is no humanity; without humanity there is no humour. I think that just about sums up George W. Bush. Any humour, and indeed humanity, during his eight terrible years in office was mostly unintentional. Mercifully, he is largely forgotten (hidden?) these days though his acts in office are not. Not forgotten—and no longer hidden—the seemingly endless and tragic stream of infants beaten-up and killed by relatives and family acquaintances in this country. Another this week.
One can’t find any humour there nor does one look. Still less: humanity. These people do not have humanity; they seem barely human. Yet it is we in society—implied white society—who are held accountable for these atrocities while they are held as victims to that society. Surely we must bring to an end this resilient, archaic view and face the awful but I think accurate truth that something intrinsic is at work here. God help us, and our children.

----------------
Now playing: Leonard Cohen - The Gypsy's Wife
via FoxyTunes

The Baron of Boring

Today I am going on a mystery bus tour to a destination that remains, well, a mystery. I have no great aversion to being on a bus, and none at all to my fellow travellers whom are all good people. What I have is an aversion to the unknown. I like to know where I am going. I like to plan and I have no great tolerance for adventure. That makes me I think as boring as a room in Hamilton full of South Africans talking soccer. But that is the way I am; everyman’s John Key, Canada and Hillary Clinton wrapped up in one—the Baron of boring. But it takes people like me to make people like you look exciting. It’s relative. I am sure that with your thirst and passion you feel you live exciting lives. I am sure you have just sprung out of bed and cannot wait to push on into the new day mining it for every gem of adventure and sensation that you think with confidence it will undoubtedly contain. And at the end of the day when you have exhausted it and yourself you will no doubt be replete with stimulating memories and rather than climaxing there you will turn your mind to the next day and be full of eager anticipation. I admire that. I envy that. And if it didn’t make you sound so much like a born-again Christian I might even like that. But anticipation, eager or otherwise, tends to bypass Helensville on a cold Fryday morning. In fact I may just well have seen it go past on a bus. Just not my bus. I think I will go back to bed. Enjoy your day; Kevin have a great birthday.

----------------
Now playing: Mindy Smith - Edge Of Love
via FoxyTunes

Bain in the Butt

I don’t know whether it is Robin or David Bain who is guilty. I am tempted to say I don’t care, but I suppose I have to believe it is in everyone’s interest that justice is seen to be done and that whomever is responsible for this crime is brought to that justice…provided they are still alive. However I am on surer ground when I say my lack of an opinion can be fully justified because I wasn’t at any of the trials and I never heard the evidence in full, so any opinion I could have would be pure unsubstantiated speculation.
So, I have no opinion.
But what I do have is repulsion for Joe Karam and David Bain’s self-laudatory “defence team.” Karam and that team remind me of Sea Shepherd—disingenuous, irrevocable and patronising. But what really gets me is the news today that they (the Bain team) is suing Trade Me. Why? Because of messages about Bain posted by the public on Trade Me’s message board.
Now, whilst I acknowledge that I have no opinion on this case I also acknowledge that there are others who have. In my view they are entitled to air those opinions in any forum. That’s democracy. If Karam retains the right to say Bain (David) is innocent why is he of the counter view that someone should not be allowed to have a contrary view? It is after all just a matter of opinion and we are all entitled to exercise ours. Aren’t we?
So, for what it’s worth Joe stick to your case and get off ours.

----------------
Now playing: Various Artists - Bad Company - Bad Company
via FoxyTunes

Walmington-on-Sea Gazette

From Dad's Army Programme

It’s War! Great Britain and France at War With Nazi Hun  I Defy Mr Hitler: Church Fete Will Go On—Vicar  Jones The Butcher War Special: Pork 2p a pound.

Great Britain is at war with Germany. Prime Minister Mr Chamberlain has declared war on Germany following that nation’s invasion of Poland. It is expected that the nations of the Empire shall follow suit.
In Walmington-on-Sea, Mayor Bertram Fosdick declared the town ready to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with King and Commonwealth in defence of the country.
“We shall not be found wanting,” he declared. “This is a time for all good men to stand steadfast in face of the enemy.
“I intend phoning Mr Hitler and telling him he will get a bloody nose if he shows his face in Walmington-on-Sea,” said Mr Fosdick.
Meanwhile our Vicar, Reverend Timothy Farthing, says he won’t be deterred by the announcement of war. “I think this Mr Hitler person is a very rough fellow and I will not be bullied by him,” promises the brave Vicar. “The church fete will go on this Saturday as planned. And once again Mrs Fox’s giant melons will be a sight to behold. I can’t wait to get my hands on them.”
In other reaction, Walmington-on-Sea bank manager Mr George Mainwaring says he will be raising a Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard platoon. He is calling on all men to rally around the flag. “We have good British stock in our town,” says Mr Mainwaring and the sight of them standing shoulder to shoulder exposing their weapons will not be one this Hitler chap will want to see in a hurry.

----------------
Now playing: Michael Gambon + Hans Zimmer - Opening
via FoxyTunes

Lady Hamilton

Let’s set the record straight.
Hamilton is vivacious, classy, cultured and aesthetically perfect.
Compared to Mongolia.
Just.
Did you know that Hamilton has a Facebook page? Yes, it has. You can find it here: http://www.facebook.com/HamiltonNewZealand.
There is a curious paradox here: whilst Hamilton is hardly worth a visit (why contend with the escaping traffic?) its Facebook page certainly is. How else would you know that “If your (sic) looking for affordable & professional beauty therapy in Hamilton goto The Wax Pot Beauty & Spa on 18 Claudelands Rd! Best Brazilians & Spray Tanning in Hamilton!” or “Hamilton is New Zealand's largest inland city, situated on the banks of the Waikato River, (the country's longest river).” Wow!
But some people do love Hamilton. One such appears on Hamilton’s Facebook home page (go there if you don’t believe me). Lisa Alica says of Hamilton, “I LOVE Hamilton !!! X O X O X.” Then again Lisa on her own Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/SoftLisa) also expresses an interest in Aliens, UFOs, extraterrestrials and, interestingly, something called CloneMike. And as well as the Hamilton page she also subscribes to the following: Semir Sam Osmanagich (discoverer of the Bosnian pyramids) , David L. Powell III , Alif 1 EBOO S.A.F.E. , Medical Ozone Therapy , 1,000,000 Strong Against Offshore Drilling , Recuirculatory Haemoperfusion RHP , Dr. Duke's Wild Ride , Bonaparte Lake Resort , Erich von Däniken's Official Fan Page , I Know What I Saw , NorthWest Music Scene , AmKon Dot Net , Stone Circle Video LLC and Jesus Daily . And this is Lisa. I rest my case.
----------------
Now playing: Ted Hawkins - Biloxi
via FoxyTunes