Thursday, June 24, 2010

Walmington-on-Sea Gazette


From Dad's Army Programme

It’s War! Great Britain and France at War With Nazi Hun  I Defy Mr Hitler: Church Fete Will Go On—Vicar  Jones The Butcher War Special: Pork 2p a pound.

Great Britain is at war with Germany. Prime Minister Mr Chamberlain has declared war on Germany following that nation’s invasion of Poland. It is expected that the nations of the Empire shall follow suit.
In Walmington-on-Sea, Mayor Bertram Fosdick declared the town ready to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with King and Commonwealth in defence of the country.
“We shall not be found wanting,” he declared. “This is a time for all good men to stand steadfast in face of the enemy.
“I intend phoning Mr Hitler and telling him he will get a bloody nose if he shows his face in Walmington-on-Sea,” said Mr Fosdick.
Meanwhile our Vicar, Reverend Timothy Farthing, says he won’t be deterred by the announcement of war. “I think this Mr Hitler person is a very rough fellow and I will not be bullied by him,” promises the brave Vicar. “The church fete will go on this Saturday as planned. And once again Mrs Fox’s giant melons will be a sight to behold. I can’t wait to get my hands on them.”
In other reaction, Walmington-on-Sea bank manager Mr George Mainwaring says he will be raising a Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard platoon. He is calling on all men to rally around the flag. “We have good British stock in our town,” says Mr Mainwaring and the sight of them standing shoulder to shoulder exposing their weapons will not be one this Hitler chap will want to see in a hurry.

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