Dear President Christopher Luxon

  

 

 

 

The Democratic Republic of Wogistan (Inc.)

Office of the Foreign Secretary

123 Bruce Springsteen Boulevard (third door on right). Telephone: 125.

 

 President Christopher Luxon

New Zealand Parliament Gallery

PO Box 55

Wellington

New Zealand

 

Dear President Christopher Luxon

 The Democratic Republic of Wogistans peoples send warm greeting to you.

 I read with much concerns of a coup in your country that you survived—PRAISE BE TO ALLAH.

 My concerns are not that you survived PRAISE BE TO ALLAH, but that you aloud coup to happen in first place. I think what kind of President are you? No coups are aloud in Wogistan. Last coup was mine. Not aloud since.

 I give you good advice to stop you having another one. This is what I do.

•  Make coup makers disappear
•  ·      Make son-in-law or useless second son head of Army.
• ·      Give Army no bullets—give McDonald’s vouchers instead—keep happy.
• ·      Make friends with President Donald J. Trump.
• ·      Pay Donald J. Trump monies.
• ·      Disband middle class—too many thinks.
• ·      Keep lower class happy—instruct State Television to run reruns of Bonanza.
• ·      Join Rotary.

 This make happy country. I look forward to your visit. Bring wives. Much good shopping in Wogistan.

 With sincere facilitations,

Yoseph xxx

Yoseph Flanglantelie

President: The Democratic Republic of Wogistan (Inc.)

Proprietor of Spartacus Male Gym and Bathhouse.