Media have big buts

I am not sure why our fearless media have to qualify any statement, the least bit provocative, with a prefix such as “Nobody condones violence against women…” or “Few would argue that porn is a menace to the community…”.

When a story starts that way, it is usually followed by a but—a big but. It is like the writer finds the need to recuse himself from the story before he writes it. Or, even more common, the interviewer who distances himself from the question he is about to ask by starting with “What do you say to people who say…” I say, just ask the damn question!

That said, I am going to plead guilty to doing the same with the following…

Nobody condones violence against animals, BUT isn’t the call by animal rights groups (NZ Herald today) to have CCTV in milking sheds over the top?

Yes, there is one person charged with maltreating cows while milking and, yes, the evidence is supplied by CCTV footage of his actions. But, do we really need CCTV in every cowshed because of the actions of this one man?

Federated Farmers dairy chairman Chris Lewis said in the same Herald story that a lot of work with animals happened outside the milking shed and it would be impossible to have cameras over the whole farm to keep an eye on staff. CCTV would be snooping on staff and would create paranoia he said.

Ministry for Primary Industries acting director of compliance services Gary Orr said MPI had no legal authority to put cameras on farms for breaches of the Animal Welfare Act.

Associate Agriculture Minister Meka Whaitiri said yesterday more animal welfare inspectors was a priority. Then went on to say: “"Any ill-treatment of animals, regardless of whether they are companion animals, farm animals or animals for entertainment, is not acceptable." There we have her making the qualifying statement—the “out”—after the primary statement. And all she succeeds in doing is state the obvious.

The point is, though, this call by animal rights groups is, in my view, just plain silly at best and a cheap, opportunist attempt to get some free publicity—some fake news—at worst.

Of course, I am not saying that animal rights groups don’t have a role, but…

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Dear God No.5A

Trump Annex

Office of The President of the United States of America.

1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500, USA

Telephone: You’re Crazy, right? Twitter: #millionsofpeopleloveme.

Former Attorney General of the United States

Jeffrey Sessions

US Department of Justice

950 Pennsylvania Avenue NW

Washington, DC 20530-0001.

Dear Former Attorney General

I am a smart guy, a very smart guy. I only employ smart guys. That is what makes me a smart guy.

You are not a smart guy. What you do is you accept a job from me. You want to be on my team. That is okay. Tremendous. A lot of smart guys do.

But then you bring along the Bible and you tell me that the Bible supports my immigration policy. You even quote from it. You say the Bible says it is okay to separate children from their parents. God does it all the time. God is a smart guy.

I talked to God last night. He said I can’t separate children from their parents. Not so smart guy. Then I talked to the folks at Fox. They say I can separate children from illegal immigrants, rapists and thieves. They are very smart guys.

Who should I be listening too? God or Fox. I know who my friends are.

Jeff, you are working for the wrong boss. Not smart.
You’re fired!

Donald J. Trump

President of the United States of America.

Dear God No.5

Trump Annex

Office of The President of the United States of America.

1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500, USA

Telephone: You’re Crazy, right? Twitter: #millionsofpeopleloveme.

Dear God

I feel like Jesus.

You know, your son. What did he say? Something like why have you forsaken me? Well, that’s the way I feel like God. That you have forsaken me. I thought we had a deal. A tremendous deal. Nobody’s done a better deal than you and me. And what do I get for helping you out and doing it by the book—your book? Nothing!!!!!

I’ve been reading your book. Jeff Sessions gave it to me. He’s one of yours. And the minute I get out there and do it by your book what happens? I get vilified. Who’s the one being crucified now?

Let me quote you from the book—some guy called Luke spreading FAKE NEWS about your son. “But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.”

Let’s not talk about the writing, which is tremendously bad, you need a new writer, and you need to get on Twitter, nobody reads books these days, except mine, which is a tremendous book, let’s talk about you expecting little children to come unto you. Nothing about the parents there, is there? And then you, or Luke or Jesus says that only little children can enter the Kingdom of God. Again! Little children. No parents.

So answer me this God. It is okay for you put children there and parents over there, but when I do it, it is all somehow so very very wrong????

Yes, I feel like Jesus. First you tell me do it by the book and when I do I get forsaken and I get crucified.

I feel double-crossed—that’s a joke. But it is not.

Call me.

Donald J. Trump

President of the United States of America.

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Agreement may be bogus--claim

The agreement signed by US President Donald Trump and North Korean Chairman Kim Jong-Un in Singapore on June 12 may be bogus, says an Australian-based Korean language professor.

The startling claim comes from Professor Sam Sung of New South Wales’ Macquarie University who says that, whilst there is no doubt the historic agreement “signed” by the two leaders carries the President’s felt pen signature with its characteristic flourish, Kim Jong-un’s is an entirely different story.

Professor Sung claims the North Korean leader has not signed his name at all. 

Instead, Professor Sung says, Kim Jong-un has left the message, “Get a proper haircut you fat prick!”

Professor Sung’s staggering statement has been disputed in many quarters. Professor Thomas Suckitinsee of Tokyo University says the word prick is not found in the Korean language and Professor Sung’s translation is incorrect. The Institute of International Studies’ Joachim Crock, who is acknowledged as an expert  in North Korean affairs, says the word “fat” is not used by Chairman Kim nor by any in his inner circle.

In reply, Professor Sung admits there is no direct translation of fat prick and it could conceivably  be translated as “huge penis”, although this is not thought to refer to the American President.

There has been no comment on the claim from North Korean officials. However, President Trump tweeted this morning that he thought (Chairman) Kim had a “tremendous” sense of humour and the alleged message was just another example of “the very very good relationship I have with every world leader.”

Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, declined to comment on President Trump’s tweet but late this morning issued a press statement saying  that “finally” he (Trudeau) and Chairman Kim had something they could agree on.

#wtffakenews

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As Cecil C. Sackrider Sees It: Come Fly With Me

Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

God’s gift of celebacy has lain upon fertile ground of late. He hath spoke and purged my heart of sinful, lustful thoughts on many occasions, and has done much the same for Bobby-Jo each night after prayer and before my visitation upon her. In that, He has been successful, for Bobby-Jo has been restored to her sweet, innocent self and tells me that, thanks be to God, she no longer harbors lustful thoughts toward me. And that is God’s blessing upon us for I am free to minister to other sisters in Christ and reveal God’s purpose for them.

So cometh the Lord. Hallelujah!

However, God has also placed a burden upon me. “Cecil” he sayeth to me. “You much venture forth a take My message to the greater world. You must take My Word to places where the light is yet to shine. You must travel the world in My Name, leaving no stone unturned in rooting out the sullied and shamed. You must find those whom would commit evil in satan’s name and commit unspeakable acts of lust and root them out.

“That is your mission, “ sayeth God.

“Yes,” I sayeth to the Lord in humility, awash with His grace.

“And for that you need another plane.”

It is God’s word that the Cecil C. Sackrider Ministry needs to add to its two aging Gulfstream G550s a brand new Bombardier Global 5000, rrp $39,900,000. The Global 5000 has a cruising speed of 556mph and a maximum range of 53200 miles enabling His word to be spread further faster.

And when I sayeth to the Lord in all humility and awash with His grace: “Lord is your message not able to be spread in such a profligate manner?” He replies: “Cecil, such is the importance of my Word, such is the importance of the Light, would you have it that my Word and my Light would travel on the back of an ass? “No,” sayeth the Lord, “A Bombardier Global 5000 is the new way of the Lord.”

And so charges the Lord, that in His name and grace we—each of us—should reach out, reach into our pockets and His name and His sight bequeath to the Cecil C. Sackrider  Ministry all you can so that His message, and my Mission to root out all evil, can be taken to the world.

Give now, friends, for the world is waiting.

To make a tax-deductible donation to the Cecil C. Sackrider Ministry Flying Fund send your check or money order to 1069E West 35 Street Montgomery Alabama United States of America, Zip Code 666.  If you do not at once have the funds available, credit card payments will be acceptable All donations over US$1,000,000 puts you into the draw to join Rev Cecil C. Sackrider and Sister Bobby-Jo Sackrider as they use the new Bombardier 5000 to bring God’s Word to the Bahamas in December.

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