Dear John: Goff

Rt Hon John Key Prime Minister
Care of Distribution Services
Parliament Buildings
Wellington 6160.

Dear John

When one sees you in person or on television one is irrevocably drawn to the image of the, I think Cheshire, cat that has lapped up the cream. There we have it: the perpetual grin, the air of innocence, and the rub my tummy appeal.
Well, that may appeal to the electorate, John, and clearly it does if we are to believe the polls, which I do not. Never have. But it will not win you the election, and I will tell you why.
You see John, what you do not understand about politics is that you cannot treat it as a hobby, which you do. Politics is a full-time profession best left to those who treat it as such and with finesse, skill and respect. A life in politics can be a hard one. Difficult. Challenging. One has to be born into it, ideally, like me, through an academic route. One cannot come to it as an afterthought. An extension of a Parnell cocktail party.
Success in politics requires more than a pretty wife and a planking son.
But your attitude and your approach are not the sole reasons you will not win the next election. There is something far more important. Something you and your advisors have missed and will now find too late to recover.
It is this…
John, you underestimate the intelligence of the electorate. They see through you. They see that you are shallow. They see beyond that perpetual grin and know that it masks a disenfranchisement from the electorate. A desire, if you will, to be among your own kind. Not this kind.
Not my kind.
And this is why you will not win this election John. And why I will. People see me. They know me. They like me. They know I am one of them. Indeed, I am often asked if I am one of them.
They know that I have depth. That I bring to the political table—the mum and dad table of New Zealand—a breadth of understanding, a formidable intellectual equity, a vision and the means to achieve it.
The people of New Zealand are intelligent. They will not be swayed by your superficiality. They want cogent, vigorous politics and confidence that they have a leader with the intellectual vigour to carry them out. They don’t see that in you John. For all your spin-doctors, and for Steven standing in the wings, they haven’t seen that. You haven’t seen that. And it is too late now.
You are on notice. Next week I begin my campaign. Presidential in style. It presents me as who I am. And you are not. Strong. Determined. Brave. A visionary. A statesman. A leader. A future.
It starts with my appearance on Dancing with the Stars.


Sincerely



Rt Hon Phil Goff
Leader of the Opposition.