When Whetu Comes Knocking

ME: So you want the job?
HE: Sure do, bro.
ME: And you think you are qualified for it?
HE: Sure do, bro.
ME: But why?
HE: Why what?
ME: Why do you think you are qualified for the job?
HE: ‘Cause it’s a choice job.
ME: Yes Whetu, but why do you think you are more deserving of the job than, say, me?
HE: ‘Cause look at me, bro. I looks and sounds like a New Zealander, don’t I? Nobodies look like they come from Aotearoa like Tangata Whenua, unless you thinking of John Key after he is off sunning in Hawaii.
ME: So you think being brown is qualification for the job?
HE: Yep.
ME: Anand Satyanand is brown.
HE: Who?
ME: Sir Anand Satyanand, the Governor General.
HE: The what?
ME: Look, are we at cross-purposes here…?”
HE: I’m not cross.
ME: You’re looking for a job?
HE Sometimes, bro.
ME: You want this job?
HE: Choice job.
ME: The Governor General’s job?
HE: The what?
ME: The…Look, what job are you looking for?
HE: His job.
ME: Whose job?
HE: Paul Henry’s job. Choice.
ME: Oh God!
HE: Free breakfasts, eh?


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