HE: Hello Mother
ME: Hello Whetu.
HE: You’ve moved.
ME: You’re good.
HE: Cause of me?
ME: I do nothing cause—because of you.
HE: I let the bros know.
ME: Thanks.
HE: Looks after youse they will.
ME: Thanks.
HE: Hello Mother.
ME: Yeah, I know. Hone?
HE: Cool eh?
ME: Not really. He’s just a raciest pig. And not that mature either. I would have thought better of youse Whetu.
HE: Hone’s the man.
ME: Whatever.
HE: Youse mothers been raping our land for centuries and any bro that suck up to youse mothers is nothing but an Uncle Dick.
ME: Tom.
HE: What?
ME: Tom. Uncle Tom.
HE: Who he?
ME: Doesn’t matter.
HE: Whatever. Hone’s the man.
ME: Look I got to go.
HE: You met his wife?
ME: Hone’s?
HE: Yes.
ME: Yes.
HE: Choice eh?
ME: Very.
HE: Spend a week in Paris with her and have you mothers to pay for it…
ME: I guess.
HE: Hone’s the MAN!
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The Long Walk Back
Someone, it may have been Will Rogers, once said of California that it was as if the United States had tilted, and all the country’s nuts ...
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