Life Savers

I am persuaded that Helen Clark is not the man to replace John Key as leader of the opposition.

If she is loses next year’s general election, she is surely gone for good, having done little good. That of course is a personal political comment and you may well disagree. I, like Helen, simply do not care. She and I share the view that the opinions of others are a quirk of nature to be tolerated, though better suffocated at birth. Ours are politics of predetermination rather than conciliation.

Nevertheless, your opinion is not the point of this Fryday, so we may without hesitation and with some considerable satisfaction move on from that to my concern. My concern is that when Helen goes so will Fryday. Helen, George W. Bush, Brian Tamaki and fundamentalists everywhere have been the cornerstones upon which Fryday has been built. If I should lose one of my cornerstones next year with Helen and the year after with George can Fryday survive?

Brian Tamaki may well be building God’s house. But he hasn’t the strength to build Fryday, and when Fryday forayed into other areas such as sex, which it did recently, I received no reaction at all—admittedly, par for the course with most of my sexual excursions.

So, you see my dilemma? You Fryday readers love Helen Clark and George W Bush. And when you see them you lose all interest in sex.

I am left with the euphemism of blank shots and the contemplation of a life after Fryday. And that may well be something you may want to contemplate as well, or else suffer the real prospect of in future considering your role in its demise.

The choice is simple: if you don’t want sex, vote Helen back in.

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