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The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune are part and parcel of politics, as well as New Zealand on Air funded programmes. But also, as Oscar said: there is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. You see, in my trials and tribulations in running for a seat on the Rodney district council I have history and literature on my side. Shakespeare sympathises; Wilde offers a solution, or at least a consolation. In short, armoured with such majesty, I am inviolate and slings and arrows largely impotent. I am further reinforced by the fact I combat no precedent of history. I cannot recall great gods or kings called Colin, let alone Wayne and the only King John we can recall we would rather forget. So, I sit set to be attacked on all sides, but can I take it seriously? No. Fact is, there are better foes than them (King Wayne?), and worse (or better?) targets than me—George (I am sorry about your traffic jam) Bush among the latter. Bring it on.

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