The Weird and wonderful place names of England

 

Oscar Wilde famously said Britain and America have everything in common except language.

He may well have been right. When I was in England a few years back, I struggled to find anybody, at least in the hospitality sector, who spoke English with anything other than a broad East-European accent. 

When I arrived in America, I found everyone spoke English with clarity and control. There was, however,  a propensity, widely used, to call me “Bud”. I can forgive that, coming as I do, from a nation where everybody is called “Mate”.

Anyway, I love English and the English. A great mate of mine, and a frequent Fryday correspondent, hails from England and the days when we would gladly and derisively call him a Pom died with the unions.

We love them out here.

Inspired by my friend, I decided that this week Fryday would explore the English use of English, particularly when it came to naming their towns and hamlets. I have done this before, but I have found some new ones. The English are wonderfully creative about this.

Here are the weirdly wonderful names the English have given their towns and places:

Towards Newcastle in the North, we find “Pity me” and “Wide Open”. Heading down through Teeside to Yorkshire, we have “Crackpot”, “Giggleswick”, and “Wetwang”.

Not too far from Southport, we have ”Blubberhouses”, “Jump”, “Bunny” and “Barton in the Beans”. Near Norwich is a particular favourite of mine, “Great snoring”, which is almost level with “Wig wig” and Chemistry” near the border of Wales. Near Gloucester, there is “Catbrain” and who could forget “Matching Tie” near Cambridge?

The far south of England, though, is the easy winner as far as odd names are concerned. “Curry Mallet” isn’t too far from Bath, “Donkey Town” is south of London, and in the far south, aptly at the bottom of England, we have the delights of “Brown Willy”, “Droop”, “Loose Bottom” and “Crapstone”.

Elsewhere we find ourselves in:

Badgers Cross, Balls Cross, Bell End, Bitchfield, Bishop Spit. Boggy Bottom, Cockermouth, Cockfosters, Crudwell,  Greedy Gut, Greensplat, Ha-Ha Road, Moofield, Mudchute, Mudford Sock, No Place,  Once Brewed/Twice Brewed, Penistone, Pratt’s Bottom, Pucklechurch, Queen Camel, Rotten End, Sandy Balls, Scratchy Bottom, Spanker Lane,  Tiddlywink, Upperthong, Ugley, Westward Ho!, Windy Nook and the one I get really high on…

Tokers Green.

Presumably the last of those hosts a music festival…or should.