Friday, April 27, 2018

Letters from Wogistan: Macron




The Democratic Republic of Wogistan (Inc.)
Office of the Foreign Secretary
123 Bruce Springsteen Boulevard (third door on right). Telephone: 125.



Presidente Donald J. Trump
Presidente of United States of Americas
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington DC 20500
United States of Americas.

Dear Presidente Donald

Our Presidente for life Yoseph Flagrantie send you fragrant greetings from the Peoples of Democratic Republic of Wogistan.
Presidente will make visit to United States of Americas to discuss global warming issues. Peoples of Wogistan very cold and there is not enough sheeps to go around. Presidente feel sorry for peoples. He thinks of them as family and manys are. Presidente wants to supply thems with America heaters. Present Russian one not worthy. You supply.
Presidente want STATE WELCOMES like you give presidente Macron. Our Presidente more important. He eat Macrons. But no kisses on lips. Presidentes will shake hands, but not hold hands—that not menly thing to do.
You send Airforce One and Two—Presidente not travel with sheeps.

Sincerely

Yoseph xxx
Yoseph Wankerstan
Foreign Secretary The Democratic Republic of Wogistan (Inc.)
Proprietor Spartacus Male Gym and Bathhouse.


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Friday, April 13, 2018

On talk and tweets


The radio is on in the background. The station is a sports station. There is only one topic of conversation and that is whether Sam Gaze’s apology for the way he reacted to fellow New Zealander Anton Cooper in yesterday’s mountain bike final was written by him or for him. The difference being, in the minds of the commentators, is that if Sam wrote it himself the apology is sincere; if he did not, then it is not. The commentators believe it was not; they are basing their belief, mainly, on the cadence of the wording. All very academic.
And it is academic in the other sense of that word. In every respect, this matter doesn’t deserve the attention it is getting.
However, it interests me for two reasons. First, as a person who makes his living as a writer, I am interested in any assertion that the written word, when delivered by a third party, cannot truly reflect or represent the person, and that written words, even direct quotes, rarely are the same as they are when spoken.
Really? I make most of my income writing about people and quoting them. And I think in representing them I do it successfully—truly and fairly reflecting them, their thoughts, and their emotions. Any good writer can do it, and quite easily.
So, does it matter that Sam didn’t write his own apology—that he allegedly had it written for him? Perhaps. But it doesn’t necessarily make the apology any less sincere for that. It was just written better. Just leave it, guys; there are more important matters.
And that leads me to my second interest in this matter and the use of language. This is the tweet:
Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and "smart!" You shouldn't be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 11, 2018

This Trump tweet and many others like it, usually attacking somebody or something, are very often sent in the very early hours of the morning. And in the use of the language—inflammatory and provocative—the  author would usually be on something or had a few too many. I have done it myself and with the same triggers. But I am not the president and the fact that this man can virtually declare war or provoke another nation into war using Twitter is deeply worrying. That he can also do it sitting alone (apparently) without a sounding board or consultation is also deeply worrying.
The only “consolation” we have is that Trump does not drink. How much worse would this mess be if he did? Then again, the fact that he does this while sober brings up a whole other set of issues.
Trump has softened his stance since. But this latest round of tweets is the most dangerous yet and raises real concerns about his sanity. Those who defend Trump will often point to the fact that he is “honest” in saying what he believes. That, too, is worrying. The only suggestion I could make to them and to Trump is to do what Sam Gaze allegedly did and get someone else to write it for him.
It’s less dangerous that way.
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