My New Year's Resolutions

Man Fryday has made a list of New Year’s Resolutions:

1.     I will not mention Donald Trump this year. Bugger!

2.     I Will not slag off Hamilton, though it deserves it. Bugger!

3.     I will never criticise “Bishop” Tamaki’s stupid hairstyle. Bugger!

4.     I will never mention, comment on or even think about Whetu. Bugger!

5.     Having done it last year, I shall not make any further comment about Jacinda Ardern’s teeth. Bugger!

6.     I shall not use any big words in an effort to obfuscate an issue to demonstrate my immanent, though chimerical, superiority. Bugger!

7.     I shall not make up words to give further credence and croiadence to that superiority. Bugger!

8.     I shall not deign to use double-entendre in a scurrilous and superficial attempt to make you feel my button is bigger than your button. Bugger!

9.     I shall stop using swear words. Shit and Bugger!

10.  I never again write Fryday under the influence of whiskey. Bugger!

Now, having not kept to any of 2018’s resolutions, I’m free—free at last. Bring it on—it’s going to be a good year. All the best for yours, as well.