So it is told. Saith the Lord. God’s choice for the coming election, Jeb Bush, is no longer in the race. His second choice, Ted Cruz, is and this pleases God. For God is beneficent. But God is troubled. God is troubled that His party, The Republican Party, the party of people—white people—has forsaken God and embraced the false profit Donald Trump. Thus, saith God, The White House—God’s house—will fall into the hands of the scarlet woman Hillary Clinton. And the Lord shall wrought Hell upon the Earth. For it is said that a woman shall have no place in the White House. No more place than a black man. It is not God’s will, it is not God’s intent. Yet America has turned its back on God. A black man and then a woman—behold the Day of Judgement is upon us. My wife, Billy-Jo, is much afeared. I feel her fear through the soft clingy thin satin-fabric of her night-dress. I feel her tremble as my hands glide over her petite body trying to sooth her. She moves from me, fearful that I at my touch will feel her fear. I move toward her. She moves from me again, such is her fear. And love for me. Yet I know. I know I am doing a righteous thing in comforting her and I feel that God is in me as I am in her. But even God’s great beneficence and my manly caresses can not calm her fears. At night, she cries in her sleep. “Tump, Oh God, Trump,” she cries. And I know she is much troubled. Yesterday, when I was going through her purse I found a photo of Donald Trump. And I know that my sweet wife, my petite wife, my Billy-Jo is carrying it with her always to remind herself that Satan is at work upon this Earth. So, I say unto you—as I place instruction upon my wife—do not turn from God. Do not vote for Donald Trump, for that way lies Hillary Clinton—a woman. Vote for Ted Cruz, God’s (second) choice, for only in doing so can not Armageddon be visited upon the Earth. And my wife, Billy-Jo, will not again tremble at my touch.
For a list of God’s Gifts, as delivered personally by God to Pastor Cecil C. Sackrider (handwriting verified), send a check or money order (minimum US$99.99) to the Cecil C. Sackrider Ministry 1069E West 35 Street Montgomery Alabama United States of America, Zip Code 666. Checks should be made out to CASH (Congregation Against Satan’s Handiwork). All donations over US$50,000 go into the draw to win a personal phone call from Our Lord, as delivered by Pastor Sackrider.
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