A Virtuous Woman

I have had the virtue (for virtue it is) over the last week of looking at life from a female perspective, I have learned some great truths, previously denied me as a man. I have learned that bras chaff and pantyhose is superior to stockings. I have resisted the temptation to step out in public unless my make-up is just right, and even then I check it in the mirror at every opportunity. I find myself hunting for idle chit-chat and, when I find it, entirely forgetting that I should be somewhere else. Men surprise me in that the things they feel are important--the economy, the global crisis, Black Caps coaching and Pamela Anderson--are far from important, though Pamela Anderson has a certain latent appeal still. In fact, I find men quite laughable in their self-generated and self-promoted superiority and pomposity. However, I do find John Key curiously attractive. Being a woman is nothing like I thought it would be. It's better. I am given to the thought that I can do anything. I am woman! I could be prime minister. I could be New Zealand's first feminine prime minister. The world is my oyster. Governed by my oyster. And to the world I say suck on that.

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