Dear Michelle,
Well I have done it! I have called the election (or as Trevor calls it the erection) date for November 8. That’s typical of Trevor of course. He’s symptomatic of my one regret from my time in office, macho males. How much better and more effective I could have been if I had only women in my cabinet. Or better still, no cabinet at all. Heather and I have often discussed how easy it would be for her and me to run this country just on our own.
But that’s the democratic system for you: never the best.
Of course even in an idyllic situation of an all woman cabinet I would retain Michael. The good doctor comes as close as you can get vicarious masturbation: he massages the ego while deflecting the slings and arrows. In the early days Jim used to do that but of late he has got so boring and intense. I hope I lose him in the election.
Just so with Winston. What a liability he has proven to be as predicted by Heather. She never liked him of course, but who does? However, that is not my issue with him, if I couldn’t cope with not being liked I wouldn’t have a cabinet and in fact I wouldn’t have a job! No, my issue with Winston is his hair. It is always so neat and tidy and always looks so good on television whereas I, as you know, have no end of difficulty with mine. Of course that doesn’t matter. And I don’t give a shit how I look (nor does Heather), but, you know, in the lead up to the erection (Ha Ha) and all that… Thank God for Photoshop!
Anyway, I have to get into trim for the election. JK is not going to be an issue, but all this smiling and being nice (talk about sustainable) will be. Build me up Michelle. Give me the spunk to get through it all. You do do spunk, don’t you? Silly question.
Put me on the couch and have your way with me.
H.
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