It's all Greek to me.

The ethnic brawling between the Serbs and the Croats at the Australian Tennis Open has a surreal quality about it but will come as no surprise to anybody who knows the history of the relationship between the two peoples. Even as a united nation (Yugoslavia) they were at each others throats and of course it got even worse when Yugoslavia disintegrated.

The brawling itself is unusual and has been stated so by Croat and Serbian tennis players and officials. This ethnic violence at sporting events apparently occurs nowhere else in the world, and the players themselves get on pretty well together—on and off the court.

So what is different about Melbourne, where the Tennis Open is being held?

I blame the Greeks.

I read that the Greek spectators have been egging on the Serbs while remaining just that—spectators. Which says to me one thing: the Greeks are the new Italians. No that’s unfair: the Italians at least went to war—didn’t win any, but at least they were there. The Australian Greeks on the other hand are cowardly content to stand on the side-line and watch others go for it.

How the mighty have fallen. Greece was once a proud nation comprising great military states such as Sparta and Athens that produced the mightiest army and navy of the known world. A near neighbour, Macedonia, produced arguably the greatest general of all time, Alexander. Now it has all come to this: standing back and watching someone else trade blows outside a tennis match in Australia.

Yet, when I think about it, it should come as no surprise. What has Greece offered of late? A police force that wears frocks and a musical starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton John. Even its contribution to international cuisine says something. In fact, to me, it’s the greatest indictment of all. While its neighbour Turkey offers us great meat dishes full of succulent mutton spiced with fabulous though mysterious tastes—great, solid fare a man can use, what does Greece offer?

A salad.

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