Whetu Calls: The Political Party

-->From time to time one reaches a watershed in one’s life. Each day is different, but some contain events so momentous they change your life and set it off in a new direction. Such a watershed happened to me recently and as a result I see new vistas opening before me and much that is fading into darkness and memory behind me. Of the latter there will be few regrets. There is much I wish to consign to the darkness from whence it came. Whetu may well be one of those. However, it is not to be…

ME: My god! How did you find me?

HE:  Kia ora bro.

ME: You are the last person I expected to see up here. How did you know I was here?

HE: I got cuzzies up here. They told me youse arrived. Choice place youse got here. Cost you a lot?

ME: What do you want Whetu?

HE: I is on the campaign trail.

ME: Campaign? What campaign?

HE: Political campaign, bro. Me an a few cuzzies joined a new party and we’s putting up some can…candy…canner…peoples in the next election.

ME: You? What on earth could you offer the country?

HE: Wells, as that Kennedy fella said ask not what you can do for your country, instead ask what your country can do for you.

ME: Other way around.

HE: Not for us bro.

ME: So, I suppose you want a campaign contribution? Is that what you are here for?

HE: Youse mean money?

ME: I’s…I mean money.

HE: Nah: we got all the money we’s need.

ME: How on earth did you get that?

HE: Cusin Hone got us to join the Kim Dotcom party. Said he was rich bro and we could fleece—borrow—alls we like from him. Sweet bro.

ME: You have joined the Internet Party?

HE: Yus bro. The in-to-the-net party. That’s us. All the moneys and all the fishing we wants. Sweet as.

A Messy Affair

Election 2014 is shaping up to be a messy affair. I personally don’t believe it will be as close a result as some say, but if the events of the last fortnight are anything to go by it will certainly be a knockdown drag-out election and as such one of the most interesting of recent times.
I worked on a number of general elections through the 70s and 80s. The first was in 1972, which saw Norman Kirk sweep into power and the last (to date) was 1984 and the advent of David Lange. Lange and Kirk were both larger than life characters full of charisma—but their similarities beyond that were a little less than you may think. What they did have in common was the diminutive and malevolent spectre of Muldoon. And it was Muldoon who added the fire and the interest to those and all the intervening elections. I worked for him on 1975’s “Dancing Cossacks” campaign and whilst I am thankful to be involved with one of the most pioneering if polarising political campaigns in New Zealand history, my memories of Muldoon are less than savoury.
I have little memory of Palmer, Bolger, Shipley and even Clark. There was a blandness there that was reflected in most of their elections. John Key is not much different in that regard although I think I am right in thinking he is the most popular of those listed. Bland could also describe Cunliffe.
Key v Cunliffe? Hardly riveting stuff.
So, why do I think this may be one of the most interesting elections since the Muldoon era? Well, it is not because of what we know (or are told), it is because of what we may not know. The events of recent weeks—the relentless pursuit of Judith Collins, the (strangely less relentless) revelations regarding Maurice Williamson and the peculiar and as yet unexplained shift by Labour from Williamson to Woodhouse all hint that there is a lot in the background that is not being revealed and may well be being held in reserve. Further gist to that particular mill came yesterday with John Key’s rather less than veiled threat of “Don’t Go There” to Labour over the cash for access issue. Maybe that issue, too, will die a hurried death.
Nevertheless one is left with the impression that there is no shortage of replacement revelations to be rolled out in the weeks and months ahead. There seems to be some formidable strategies in play here—from both parties. The danger for both however is that they overplay the dirty politics card. From what I am hearing many of us have had a gutsful of it already.
But then again politicians can’t help themselves, can they? It’s their world.