Whetu Calls: Gangnam Style

News this week that ads by online electricity store Powershop featuring Mao Zedong dancing Gangnam style were pulled by Auckland Transport because they might offend New Zealand’s 120,000 Chinese immigrants set me thinking. Would that move not pose a greater risk of offending the 50 million South Koreans from whom Gangnam style originated? And what of our old friends of the Democratic Republic of Wogistan (123 Bruce Springsteen Boulevard-3rd door on the right) who have adopted Gangnam style as their national dance? I believe they are writing to Auckland Transport. But there are some of blissful ignorance for whom this move passed unnoticed. Those not easily offended. Maori for one; Whetu for one. It had to happen. The knock: ME: Hello. HE: Bro. ME: What do you want, and how much will it cost? HE: Me? ME: He…You! HE: Me? Nothin’. Just come to say me and the bros in morning. ME: Morning? HE: Ten Guitars dead, Man. ME: Dead? Mourning. HE: Whatever. Gone. Got new song. ME: What? HE: Haka. ME: The Haka is not new. HE: Gangnam style. Want to see it? ME: Okay. HE: Two bucks. ME: Of course. Here you go. HE: Ready? ME: Ready. HE: Ka mate, ka mate! ka ora! ka ora! Ka mate! ka mate! ka ora! ka ora! Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru Nāna nei i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā Ā, upane! ka upane! Ā, upane, ka upane, whiti te ra! Seeeexxxxyyyy Lady. Gangnam style! Well of course you had to see it to believe it.

On Any Given Day

Today is International Women's Day. Do I care? No. Do I believe that most women, international or otherwise, care or know? No. It is just another of those days that come and go, created by goodness knows who to (usually) create awareness of goodness what—which it rarely does and is rarely necessary. June 1 is Children's Day, and 20 November is Universal Children's Day. If I was commemorated only in the first I would be somewhat aggrieved that I was perhaps not among the more prestigious "Universal" kids. If I was in both I would just be like most kids—greedy. But here we have two days creating awareness of children—as if we didn't know they were there already. But who creates these "days". Apparently most of the so-called official ones emanate from America—go figure-and are given authority by Act of Congress. The rest of we World Citizens get saddled with them—given to us by the same people who gave us George W. Bush (and don't start me on Jeb). So what else has this great nation of America given us? Well, as a bit of a light read, I thought I would give you the list of official days for this month (March). Personally I'm off now to have a big lunch—I love National Pig Day; and anybody who wants to join me to demonstrate Goddess of Fertility Day is more than welcome. Have a good Day. March, 2013 Daily Holidays, Special and Wacky Days: 1 Employee Appreciation Day first Friday in March 1 National Pig Day 1 National Salesperson Day - first Friday in the month 1 Peanut Butter Lovers' Day 2 Old Stuff Day 3 I Want You to be Happy Day 3 If Pets Had Thumbs Day 3 National Anthem Day 3 Peach Blossom Day 4 Holy Experiment Day 4 Hug a GI Day 5 Multiple Personality Day 6 Dentist's Day 6 National Frozen Food Day 7 National Crown Roast of Pork Day 8 Be Nasty Day 8 International (Working) Women's Day 19 National Agriculture Day (date varies) 9 Panic Day 10 Middle Name Pride Day 11 Johnny Appleseed Day 11 Worship of Tools Day - guys, you can relate 12 Girl Scouts Day 12 Plant a Flower Day 13 Ear Muff Day 13 Jewel Day 14 Learn about Butterflies Day 14 National Potato Chip Day 14 National Pi Day- Why today? Because today is 3.14, the value of Pi. 14 Popcorn Lover's Day second Thursday 15 Everything You Think is Wrong Day 15 Ides of March 15 Incredible Kid Day 15 Dumbstruck Day 16 Everything You Do is Right Day 16 Freedom of Information Day 16 National Quilting Day - third Saturday of month 17 Submarine Day - the hero sandwich or the boat?? 17 Saint Patrick's Day 18 Goddess of Fertility Day 18 Supreme Sacrifice Day 19 Poultry Day 20 International Earth Day 20 Extraterrestrial Abductions Day 20 Proposal Day 21 Fragrance Day 22 National Goof Off Day 23 National Chip and Dip Day 23 Near Miss Day 24 National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day 25 Pecan Day 25 Waffle Day 26 Make Up Your Own Holiday Day 27 National "Joe" Day 28 Something on a Stick Day 29 National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day 29 Smoke and Mirrors Day 30 National Doctor's Day 30 I am in Control Day 30 Take a Walk in the Park Day 31 Bunsen Burner Day 31 Easter Date varies 31 National Clam on the Half Shell Day