Taking The Mickey

I have been wondering where the phrase “It’s Mickey Mouse…” comes from. Its dictionary definition is something that can be described as trivial, unimportant and uncoordinated. But that still doesn’t tell me where the phrase originates and who or was Mickey? Well, apparently the phrase refers to the Disney character Mickey Mouse (as you would expect). But that still remains a mystery to me because whilst Mickey may be the first “gay” mouse and certainly had a bestial relationship with a dog named Goofy, I am not sure you can describe him as unimportant. And while I am on the subject: how come Goofy could talk but Pluto couldn’t? But, my trusty dictionary says that all of the above characteristics can be attributed to the character of Mickey Mouse. So I must accept that: anything that is trivial, unimportant and uncoordinated, as in the Maori Party, Peter Dunne and the Hamilton City Council, is indeed Mickey Mouse. And, no, I am not taking the Mickey.

The 2012 Hamilton Public Library Book of Lists

Chilly nights and clear days again signal the advent of winter, and with it the Hamilton Public Library’s annual book of lists—those books, periodicals and other media that captured the interest of the good folk of Hamilton over the past 12 months. As always Fryday is indebted to the librarians of Hamilton for whom a book is both a passion and a blessed escape. • Best Academic Publication: An Idiot’s Guide to the Amstrad. • Most Popular Reference: A guide to proper speling to grammer. • Best History: Coronation Street--The Early Years. • Best Historical Romance: My time with Ena—a fan’s remembrance of Ena Sharples. • Best Biography: Fogs, Fags and Frigates—A History of Hamiltonians in the New Zealand Navy. • Most Popular Calendar: The PGG Bevy of Bovine Beauties. • Best Fitness Book: Calisthenics in the Cow Shed. • Public Vote for the Saddest Book: My Life as a Farmer’s Wife by Una Rutt. • Public Vote for Most Uplifting Book: At least we are not Palmerston North, published by the Hamilton City Council Communications Unit. • Best Relationship Book: Your Wife and Your Cow—an Introduction, by A Farmer. • Most Inspirational: God’s Plan for Hamilton when He gets back from Auckland. • Best Council Publication: Waiting for God—The Long Term Council Community Plan. • Most Personal Religious Testimony: God Help Me, an Aucklander’s Life in Hamilton. • Best Magazine or Periodical: Straight Furrow (for the fourth straight year) and equalled this year for the first time by Straight Fellow—Hamilton’s New Magazine for Closet Gays. • Most Popular DIY: Bound for Glory—A Life in Bondage, and How to Achieve it. • Most Popular DVD (Series): Best of A Dog Show from the 80s. • Most Popular DVD (Single): Hamilton KFCs—A Visual Feast. • Most Popular CD: Barry Manilow—The Golden Years. • Most Popular Cassette Tape: Barry Manilow—The Golden Years. • Most Stolen Book: How to set up a Neighbourhood Watch Group. • Best Waikato University Academic Thesis: Harry Potter and the Lessons for Hamilton. • Best University Publication: Auckland University Application Form. • Best Hamilton Book: Next to Matamata—A Guide to Hamilton. • Least Borrowed Book: (again) Fryday, The Bound Edition. • Most Borrowed Book: (Tie) A Submissive’s Life, The Bound Edition (and) Flat Out, the New Evidence, by the Hamilton Flat Earth Society. • Most Eagerly Anticipated Sequel: More Time with Ena—A Follow Up to My Time With Ena Sharples.

Boardtalk Empire

We heard the news yesterday that Auckland Council’s powerful Strategy and Finance Committee is to recommend that the council’s Independent Maori Statutory Board receive $3.1 million in funding next year, $150,000 less than last year. Some will no doubt comment on the propriety of that level of funding for a nine-person, part-time board and even the need for such a board. I invite them to go for it. But what I want to comment on is the reaction of the board’s chair David Taipari, who told Radio New Zealand that the new funding was “adequate” and his board could act within it. I bet they can. But it is what Mr Taipari is reported to have said next that astounded me. He is apparently unperturbed about the funding reduction because “it could be made up in other ways.” He didn’t specify what ways but indicated a reallocation of funding sources. What sources? Presumably they are also from within council, whose statutory board this is. If so haven’t we as ratepayers the right to know what is the full and honest extent and sources of appropriations to these boards? For Mr Taipari to hint at some secret (my term) funding to make up the shortfall is at least honest but it is also arrogant and stupefying in that arrogance. It says to me that he is saying to us that it doesn’t matter how much (the council) votes to give the board, the board will get what it wants anyway. Incidentally, when I goggled the Maori Statutory Board I was directed to the council’s website where I was told, “The page you are looking for is not here. We’ve been tidying up our content so it may have been moved.” Well is that something they can spend the $3.1 million on for a start? Just saying.