This week I have been living in hope; hope that I would win the $35,000,000 offered by Lotto’s Big Wednesday When that hope was dashed I found new hope, from a most unlikely quarter: the American Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. I didn’t know such a publication existed or that there would be sufficient material to sustain it. Clearly there is; the journal has been going for 35years and addresses such scholarly subjects as Marital Disruption as a Stressor, Reliability of the Dyadic Adjustment Scale and the Longitudal Course of Marital Stability. And here I was just looking for something on vibrators! But what gave me hope was an article by our very own (Canterbury University) Dr Alice Boyes. The aptly named Dr Boyes found that whereas a slightly overweight woman may evoke a negative reaction in their men folk a woman is more forgiving and don’t see a man’s weight as an impediment to a full and loving relationship. Now, that is very considerate of you women. Good on you for taking a realist view and giving we slightly rotund individuals hope that you are not soon about to walk out on us leaving us to our KFC and sausage rolls. Having said that, weight didn’t figure prominently for women in the list of characteristics that make up a good relationship. It only scrapes into the top 10. For your interest, Dr Boyes’ list in ranking order is: Warmth/trustworthiness: understanding, supportive, kind, good listener, sensitive, considerate. Attractiveness/vitality: sexy, nice body, attractive appearance, good lover, outgoing, adventurous. Status/resources: successful, nice house, financially secure, dresses well, good job. Having published that list, I am now in terror of finding how many of those characteristics my wife thinks I offer. I can only…hope.
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Now playing: Luciano Pavarotti - De Crescenzo: Rondine Al Nido
via FoxyTunes
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Now playing: Luciano Pavarotti - De Crescenzo: Rondine Al Nido
via FoxyTunes
Friday, June 26, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
A Little Schoolin’
In a speech yesterday Dr Sharples, who is Maori Party co-leader, said Maori should be able to go to university without any qualifications.
NZ Herald: Thursday 18 June 2009.
The call came. I knew it would. He was there.
HE: Bro.
ME: Whetu.
HE: Howse it goin’?
ME: Fine. You?
HE: Good. Just want to say bye.
ME: Bye? Where youse..where are you going?
HE: Uni?
ME: University?
HE: Yup.
ME: Which one?
HE: All of them.
ME: All of them?
HE: Big whanau, bro. Got to spread meself around. Thought I would do a couple of weeks at Auckland, do a bit more with the cuzzies at Rotorua, then down to Wellington and then…
ME: What are you taking?
HE: Anything that’s not nailed down, bro. You know me.
ME: No, what course are you taking?
HE: Course?
ME: What are you…learning?
HE: Learning?
ME: Isn’t that why you are going to university? To learn? A profession?...A trade?…A skill?…Something?
HE: Oh, I’m going to learn something!
ME: What?
HE: How to get a student loan.
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Now playing: The Band - Don't Do It (live)
via FoxyTunes
Friday, June 12, 2009
The Secrecy Surrounding Swanson
My wife and I are contemplating moving to Swanson. Swanson is of course the place South Aucklanders will be visiting when they can no longer get off at Mt Albert. Swanson also rhymes with swan song and therefore seems a particularly apt place to be for someone overseeing and foreseeing the final curtain on a career.
I know little of Swanson. Its location west of Auckland, but not quite the Waitakeres, would suggest a haven for suburban closet artists without the intestinal fortitude to go the whole way of the West Coast. It also seems a place of itinerants, either going to Bethells or escaping Ranui. Houses seem comfortable and that’s entirely appropriate given, as I see it, Swanson will be considered a comfort zone for many. That perhaps is its attraction for me.
On the distaff side living in Swanson would require a lot more travelling on my part. However, I enjoy driving so that is no great issue. I am rather put-off though by the secrecy surrounding Swanson—what have they to hide? When places as bland as the Twin Peaks of Mt Albert and Mt Roskill stand naked before us, why is it we never hear anything of Swanson? Am I being too harsh? Think about it: ask someone in Christchurch to list Auckland suburbs and I guarantee it will take a long time—if ever—before they get to Swanson. Mind you, the probably couldn’t name any Hamilton suburb; even Hamiltonians struggle to do that.
And maybe that’s what worries me most—is Swanson Auckland’s Hamilton? Now that would be an irony, would it not—me living there? Still my wife and I are having a look.
As a vastly more famous Swanson (Gloria) once said, “Time for my close up...”
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Now playing: The Three Tenors - Various: Memory, Ochi Tchorniye, Caminito, La Vie En Rose
via FoxyTunes
I know little of Swanson. Its location west of Auckland, but not quite the Waitakeres, would suggest a haven for suburban closet artists without the intestinal fortitude to go the whole way of the West Coast. It also seems a place of itinerants, either going to Bethells or escaping Ranui. Houses seem comfortable and that’s entirely appropriate given, as I see it, Swanson will be considered a comfort zone for many. That perhaps is its attraction for me.
On the distaff side living in Swanson would require a lot more travelling on my part. However, I enjoy driving so that is no great issue. I am rather put-off though by the secrecy surrounding Swanson—what have they to hide? When places as bland as the Twin Peaks of Mt Albert and Mt Roskill stand naked before us, why is it we never hear anything of Swanson? Am I being too harsh? Think about it: ask someone in Christchurch to list Auckland suburbs and I guarantee it will take a long time—if ever—before they get to Swanson. Mind you, the probably couldn’t name any Hamilton suburb; even Hamiltonians struggle to do that.
And maybe that’s what worries me most—is Swanson Auckland’s Hamilton? Now that would be an irony, would it not—me living there? Still my wife and I are having a look.
As a vastly more famous Swanson (Gloria) once said, “Time for my close up...”
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Now playing: The Three Tenors - Various: Memory, Ochi Tchorniye, Caminito, La Vie En Rose
via FoxyTunes
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Let’s honour Arbor Day or inject ourselves with cyanide and inflict a painful death as a preference.
Birdsey Northrop is a name to conjure with. So is Leonard Cockayne. Northrop and Cockayne never met but they had in common passion for trees and particularly the planting of trees. It was Northrop who took the essentially American tradition of Arbor Day globally; Cockayne was the man who introduced it to New Zealand and is “generally recognised as the greatest botanist who has lived, worked, and died in New Zealand.” Implicit, there may be greater botanists than Cockayne, but none fulfilled all three distinctions of having lived, worked and died in New Zealand. I am sure that there are at least a few eminent botanists presently living and working in New Zealand who can’t wait to die here so they can claim Cockayne’s crown.
But what of Arbor Day itself? According to Wikipedia, it was founded officially by Sterling Morton (whom I thought was a Wallabies back) in Nebraska in 1872. The celebration may have its original roots in Judaism in a celebration called Tu B'Shevat. By the 1920s each state in the United States had passed public laws that proclaimed a certain day to be Arbor Day or Arbor and Bird Day observance. The dates differ and were established depending on climate and suitable planting times. As mentioned, the wonderfully and aptly named Birdsey Northrop brought Arbor and Bird Day to the world. As far as observance goes, I personally have not derived much pleasure, much less sensual delight, from observing trees. Birds are a different matter.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, today is Arbor Day of course. In New Zealand anyway. And it’s also Friday and this is Fryday and I have nothing else for Fryday that wouldn’t expose me to an enormous defamation suit from Dr Richard Worth. And what’s Richard worth? Not a lot. So, we’ll settle on trees and if you think that’s boring, I can only apologise, ask for your forgiveness, and suggest you mull over the thought that how vastly more boring would be Birdsey Northrop in the flesh. I have spared you that.
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Now playing: Nilsson - Mr. Richland's Favourite Song (Harry Nilsson) 1968
via FoxyTunes
But what of Arbor Day itself? According to Wikipedia, it was founded officially by Sterling Morton (whom I thought was a Wallabies back) in Nebraska in 1872. The celebration may have its original roots in Judaism in a celebration called Tu B'Shevat. By the 1920s each state in the United States had passed public laws that proclaimed a certain day to be Arbor Day or Arbor and Bird Day observance. The dates differ and were established depending on climate and suitable planting times. As mentioned, the wonderfully and aptly named Birdsey Northrop brought Arbor and Bird Day to the world. As far as observance goes, I personally have not derived much pleasure, much less sensual delight, from observing trees. Birds are a different matter.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, today is Arbor Day of course. In New Zealand anyway. And it’s also Friday and this is Fryday and I have nothing else for Fryday that wouldn’t expose me to an enormous defamation suit from Dr Richard Worth. And what’s Richard worth? Not a lot. So, we’ll settle on trees and if you think that’s boring, I can only apologise, ask for your forgiveness, and suggest you mull over the thought that how vastly more boring would be Birdsey Northrop in the flesh. I have spared you that.
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Now playing: Nilsson - Mr. Richland's Favourite Song (Harry Nilsson) 1968
via FoxyTunes
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Whetu Calls: Water Gate
Whetu is an old friend of Fryday’s. Not that I think he knows that. He doesn’t have email or access to the internet. In fact, he is so far...
